When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.