turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.