Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.