When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Take baths

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.