Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Eat ice by itself

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.