I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Pretend animals talk to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

thumb_up thumb_down -79

im going to kill that person and get away with it

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

thumb_up thumb_down

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

thumb_up thumb_down -34

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.