do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.