I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.