I masturbate with sandpaper

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.