Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.