Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.