- Things You Think Only You Do

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.