Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Boinked my neighbor

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Having gay sex

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.