When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.