Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.