When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.