I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Boinked my neighbor

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.