Having gay sex

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.