- Things You Think Only You Do

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

Thinking your life is a movie...

I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.