Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.