You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.