When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Courtesy flush.

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Picking my nose.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.