fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.