When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.