I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

I chew around the center of carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

thumb_up thumb_down -17

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

thumb_up thumb_down -27

THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

thumb_up thumb_down -33

check shower for murder then pee

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.