- Things You Think Only You Do

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.