I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.