I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Look at my poop before flushing

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.