pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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I hate being called "buddy".

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.