Thinking your life is a movie...

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.