Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

thumb_up thumb_down -70

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

thumb_up thumb_down -82

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.