Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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I hit the frig after sex

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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check shower for murder then pee

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.