Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Think about breathing...

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.