- Things You Think Only You Do

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

Courtesy flush.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Boinked my neighbor

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

I have a phobia of incest

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.