Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.