Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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Mayada stupid

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.