I rehearse arguments in my head.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.