expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.