When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.