think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Believing in the kindness of strangers

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +28

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I pee in the shower. :3

thumb_up thumb_down +14

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.