Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.