For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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When I wait for something to load, I right click and then quickly try to drag a box around the right click box before it disappears. Then I try to right click and drag and see if I can outline the right click box before it appears.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.