- Things You Think Only You Do

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

humiliating little girls

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.