Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.