When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.