I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Sitting down in the shower

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.