I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.