At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.