I hit the frig after sex

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Sometimes I toot.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.