Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I was the real Stig...

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.