Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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I **** with no hands.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I have a phobia of incest

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.