Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.