start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I was the real Stig...

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.