When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

thumb_up thumb_down -32

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -60

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

thumb_up thumb_down -66

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.