When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.