Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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I piss in the bed every night

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.