When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.