I cant ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -40

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

thumb_up thumb_down -42

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.