Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.