For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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humiliating little girls

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.