the power to regenerate your appendix

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.