When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I mean Diana Ross.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.