Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

I hold my breath in elevators

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.