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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.