I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

blink

humiliating little girls

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.