Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.