trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.