when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.