Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Look at my poop before flushing

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I cant ride a bike

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Play as both sides on fifa

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.