Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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speak proper english

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.