sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.