- Things You Think Only You Do

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

Eating chicken at KFC.

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

My parents are annoying.

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.