That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.